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Self-Doubt & Self-Destruction

It's been awhile since I've posted anything, so I'm going to work through some things I've been thinking about here. It's amazing how much your own mind can try to destroy you if you let it. Even with whatever life throws at you, if you sit there and constantly think about it and wonder how things could be different, you're making the problem worse. It's easy to get caught up in this wonderful misery spiral, and it's easy to lose focus on the things that are important. Regardless of what is holding you back from reaching your destiny, or your happiness, or your whatever, it can be really hard to keep going sometimes. You start doubting everything: choices you've made, choices you haven't, where you're going, why you aren't there yet... you know the drill. And it can be really, really hard. Once again, I've been doubting my decision to move to Minnesota. It happens from time to time, and I get into a weird funk for a few weeks and then move on and get caught up in routines again. I know I want to do design, and I can see myself doing it in the future. But getting to that point can be a bit tough, and it's hard to stay positive throughout the whole process. Money's tight, it's hard to find work... there's a lot of negative thoughts that currently swirl around inside my head. Self-doubting leads to self-destruction. It's that simple. We are our own worst enemies, and that thought alone helps me a little bit. Even if I sometimes feel like I'm going nowhere with my life, I remind myself that everything I've done is another step to get me to where I need to be. Every little thing. I have a good support system of friends and family, who help inject a bit of positivity into me when I need it the most. I'm a firm believer of everything happening for a reason. This isn't to say that we're just living through some predetermined path by whatever higher powers may exist. I just like to think that if you're able to learn from the tough times, and gain even a tiny bit of insight from it, it has served a purpose. You muddle through, and come out stronger and more determined on the other end. Now I just have to readjust my plans, once again, and keep muddling through for the time being. Things don't always work out the way you intend, and I've learned to be flexible with whatever life throws at me. The Pinterest Find of the Week posts will probably have to be on hold for a bit, as I refocus and try to get a bit of freelance work coming my way. We'll see how that goes, but I'll be sure to keep you all in the loop as any news comes my way. This is all part of the journey, and I'm keeping my head up. :)

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